Breaking Down the Barriers, One Prostidude at a Time

These days it seems no matter what your achievement, there is always a label attached to it. The most obvious is of course Barack Obama. First Black President. Thankfully that is starting to die down and people now are seeing him as what he is – simply the 44th President of The United States Of America. But it seems to me that no matter what the man accomplishes over his term in office, the colour of his skin will always be mentioned in passing. Now that’s not diminishing the barriers he has broken down. Hopefully it will continue. I have lived in Australia, New Zealand and now America. All countries that, to some degree, have a racism debate that has raged for hundreds of years. I hope one day the illogical radicals of both sides see the light and stop hating for the sake of hating.

I bring this up because in all the glory of the Winter Olympics over this past week, I almost missed another milestone in the continued breaking down of our racist and sexist society. It was an event that really grabbed my interest. Not because I thought it was a monumental event, but because the party involved considered it to be such an achievement. In a world where there is a constant struggle to bring down barriers and have equality for every man, woman and child, one man felt he had forever changed the landscape of society on a level not seen for decades.

25 year old, “Markus”, an Alabama native, who resided in Los Angeles, where he tried a stint in porn (who would have thought) was hired by The Shady Lady Ranch brothel to become the first male prostitute in Nevada. This college dropout (who would have thought) has done what no other man before has been able to do – have the Nevada prostitution laws changed to allow him to ply his trade. Seeing as though prostitution is illegal in nearly every state in America, Markus has become the only legal gigolo in the country. Or ‘prostidude’ as he is being called. On your feet people. A big round of indifference for the man. Let’s hear it. However, here’s the thing that took me back. It has not come without its controversy – mainly from the man himself. Firstly he has been criticised by female sex workers for not being willing to have sex with men. Apparently even in the sex trade equality is a very sore topic. If you’ll excuse the pun. In his words “The equation is already set – you have to go gay for the pay if want the big bucks. So that’s prostitution, in my opinion. That’s disrespect to the artist. My sphincter isn’t for sale”. Dude, unless Van Gogh rises from the dead and feels the need to visit the Shady Lady Ranch, then I can pretty much assure you there will be no artists in that room. You’re safe.

Along with that, Markus has stated some other pretty radical things. Let’s examine them shall we. Firstly, he claims that male sex workers are not prostitutes, they are ‘surrogate lovers’. I’m sorry but loving a woman comes with a whole other set of rules. Unless part of his hour session includes being nagged, taking out the garbage and constantly agreeing to end arguments he didn’t know he was in, then he’s not even close to being a true lover. Same goes for him, unless the woman is paying for 5 minutes of sex and 55 minutes of ignoring, sleeping, belching, farting or watching football then you are not really getting the full surrogate experience.

For the next part I need to quote Markus again.

“Basically this is the first time in the economy of the United States that a male has actually stood up and said “I want to do this for a living”. And be protected under law to do it. It’s just the same as when Rosa Parks decided to sit at the front instead of the back. She was proclaiming her rights as a disadvantaged, African American older woman. And I’m doing the same”.

I see. Really. In essence, what we have here is a prostidude comparing himself to a woman that the US Congress called the ‘Mother of the Modern Day Civil Rights Movement’. For those not in the know, on December 1st, 1955 in Alabama, Rosa Parks refused to obey the bus driver who ordered her to give up her seat to a white person. Her actions sparked Boycotts and became an international icon for resistance to racial segregation. Which, Markus feels, is just like the battle for the right he now has to stick his wang in hoohoo of a woman willing to pay by the hour. Rosa Parks was recognized with a Congressional Medal. Markus will be recognized at the doctor’s office with redness and a slight itch.

Come on Markus, let’s be real. Next you’ll be comparing yourself to Gandhi. Oh wait, he already did. Markus is doing “what Gandhi did when he had a sit down protest against the British Embassy”. I hope he continues that passive resistance to any client who does a runner without paying. No longer will pimps be sent to your door to rough you up and retrieve payment. Instead your ‘surrogate lover’ will sit and stare at you and give you the silent treatment, which is more like the real lover experience than he’ll ever realize. Who here hasn’t felt the back of a cold, angry woman after stumbling home from the pub at 3am? From now on I’m going to say to the boys “sorry fellas, I gotta get home before the missus pulls a Gandhi on me”.