Get Rich or Die Trying: The Seven Deadly Sins

Nails running down a chalk board.  People who leave crumbs in the butter tub.  Poodles.  We all have things that make us want to grind our teeth together in exasperation.  But when it comes to business, it’s best not to be the person whose email evokes a similar response, and to avoid the triggers that will leave the recipient wanting to smash their computer screens and poke the shards in their eyes, just for want of something better to do than ever have to deal with you again.  As a rule, people who run their own businesses are one minor stress away from a heart attack.  Thus, contacting these hot beds of anxiety can often prove tricky, and throw in some artistic temperament and one missed coffee break, and one small annoyance can escalate into the straw that breaks the self-employed creative’s back … and any potential deals you were hoping to forge with them.  To help you through the minefield of emailing the more unpredictable of your contacts, here is the list of my top seven sins which can prove to be bemusing, frustrating, and damn right annoying.

1. Prompting:  As a rule, give people at least a week to respond to an enquiry, and always think twice about sending prompting emails … and then don’t do it.  Personally, I hate when people copy and paste the same email and send it to me again, or email me after 20 minutes with ‘Did you get my email?’  Prompting people often puts you to the back of their queue, rather than making them spring to action thinking ‘Oh gosh, this person’s emailed me twice, I simply must make this awfully busy person my absolute priority’ like you anticipate.  Many people have set times which they allocate to returning emails en masse, and shock horror, many people are just b.u.s.y.  In this day and age, it’s unlikely that they haven’t received your email; you didn’t send it by carrier pigeon.  Patience is a virtue my friends.
2. Over familiarity:  Always address people in the manner by which they refer to themselves.  For instance, all of my business material and communications are signed Sarah-Jane.  Riffing on the theme and calling me SJ, Sar, Sa or Oi Bitch in your first contact with me doesn’t make me your new BFF, it makes me think you’re a simpleton.
3. E Stalking: Let’s get it straight, whilst social networking is a glorious thing, constantly getting in someone’s face on Facebook, Twitter and every outlet you can find them on is just plain stalking.  Do you really want to be the avator that your new colleague grows to dread the sight of? Turn off the laptop, put on ‘Bugaboo’ by Destiny’s Child, and think of all the restraining orders you’re avoiding.
4. Exaggeration:  Owning your own brand is a marvellous thing, and rightly something to be proud of.  But nothing screams unprofessionalism like creating an inflated and downright fictitious title for yourself… signing off your mails as C.E.O is all well and good, if you’re Bill Gates.  If you’re a one man team running a cottage industry, who visits the post office to mail out your two orders every lunchtime, not so much.  If you don’t employ staff, run premises, or manage anything more than your own time, perhaps rethink your official title over a cup of tea and a slice of humble pie. ‘Founder’ is an underrated term which covers your managerial role, yet doesn’t shout ‘Look everybody, I run my own business and am VERY, VERY important.’
5. Moaning:  None of your business contacts, without exception, want to hear your problems.  If something directly affects your work with someone, by all means explain, but randomly unburdening yourself via work emails is wrong on so many levels.
6. Unsolicited mail:  If someone has given you their business email address, don’t go ahead and sign this up to mailing lists or services without their permission.  Sending the head buyer of a store you’re trying to be stocked by invites to join you on Bebo is not a good look.
7. Laziness:  If you’re emailing someone, ensure that you know who they are and what they’re about.  Using the wrong name, info or ignoring instructions you’ve been given are pretty much inexcusable; if you’re above taking five minutes to research someone or an opportunity, why should anybody spend five minutes on you in return?

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