Halloween has never been fully integrated in the Australian way of life. The number of trick or treaters remain but a steady trickle, and the sight of a jack-o-lanterns on a front porch is as common as a mosquito in winter, but the one Halloween tradition that has more or less become a routine part of life in an Australian October is the thrill of curling up on the couch, throwing a horror movie into the DVD player and scaring ourselves silly.
Whether you like the campfire tales of Friday the 13th, the terrifying dreamscapes of A Nightmare on Elm Street or the visceral horror of Halloween, the following Halloween night schedule will get you through a long and jumpy night of Halloween festivities. Gather some friends around the television, leave a bowl of lollies by the door in case any errant trick or treater comes knocking, and settle in for a night of fun and frights!
8:15pm
The evening’s first film should be Friday the 13th Part 3 just after the sun has gone down. Providing the perfect beginning to your night since it allows your friends to continue chatting and gossiping while you munch noisily on fresh microwave popcorn and catch the frivolous spooks on the TV in the corner of your eye. Friday the 13th Part 3 is my favourite and perfectly distils everything that is wonderful about this franchise: young, nubile, good-looking teenagers getting slaughtered in humorously inventive ways! And all with the added bonus of wildly hokey 1980s 3D technology!
9:15pm
Make sure everybody is paying attention for the best moment, 62 minutes into the film as Jason Voorhees, wearing his famed hockey mask for the first time, shoots an arrow into the face of one of his victims. An arrow in 3D so bad you can even see the string it’s attached to! Your friends will be hooting with laughter for sure.
9:45pm
After those 90 amusing minutes, it is time to get a bit more serious. Pop on A Nightmare on Elm Street and let your friends truly settle in for some scares (and start chowing down on the left over trick or treat lollies). As horror franchises go, the Elm Street series has a relatively good ratio of good to bad entries. The best is New Nightmare, Wes Craven’s mid ‘90s post-modern take on the series he originated. However, that film might be too heady for a night of fun, so why not experience everything that the Elm Street films have to offer with Wes Craven’s 1984 original?
10:50pm
Watch your friends’ reactions as acting superstar Johnny Depp, in his first film role, gets devoured by his bed and regurgitated in a fountain of blood and guts at the 68-minute mark. Surely holding the record for the most amount of fake blood used in one sequence, this remains Freddy Krueger’s most famous kill and anybody watching this for the first time will surely have their eyes popping out in disgust and amazement.
11:15pm
It’s gotten later now and all the potential trick or treaters are home scoffing down whatever chocolate they were able to weasel out of their neighbours. It’s time to pull out the big gun for this movie marathon; none other than John Carpenter’s slasher masterpiece Halloween. Avoid the sequels, most of which are rubbish, and stick with the 1978 original in which Jamie Lee Curtis plays babysitter Laurie Strode, who is being stalked by her murderous brother Michael Myers on Halloween night.
11.55pm
Press pause on the DVD and ask your friends “Did you hear something?”
Not only will they get a chuckle out of your hopeless attempts to scare them, but also it will put them at ease after 50 minutes of escalating tension in the film (and trust me, there is tension!) Besides, all the better to ease your friends into a false sense of security, when…
12:00am
There’s a knock at the front door!
Your friends will jump out of their seats at the sound of someone’s fist pounding at the door of your house this late at night. “It’s Midnight on the dot…” you could say, in attempt to freak them out even more as if tales of a mask-wearing slasher killer stalking the suburbs hunting people down as the clock strikes 12. Unbeknownst to your shivering friends it’s just another mate arriving late that you have asked to specifically show up at midnight so as to get the most frights out of your gullible guests.
Thankfully you asked your tardy friend to bring pizzas so all will be forgiven.
12:45am
It’s getting later and after Halloween your guests will be a bit rattled so I suggest something that, while still incredibly scary, you can at least get a few laughs out of. Throw on Scream, the second Wes Craven film for the night. Most people who are willing to sit down for a night of slasher galore will have seen it, but with its refreshing take on the horror genre, Scream is eminently rewatchable. Plus, nobody can resist getting dragged into the murder mystery after Drew Barrymore’s famous opening scene where she actually discusses Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street and Halloween.
1:55am
It’s at this moment that Scream’s resident movie geek character Randy (played by Jamie Kennedy) assesses the rules of a horror movie. If you remember the words then recite them along with him, if not then simply nod your head in agreement.
1. “You can never have sex.” (The sin factor. Sex = Death)
2. “You can never drink or do drugs.” (Continuation of the above sin factor)
3. “Never, ever, ever under any circumstances say ‘I’ll be right back’” (Because you won’t be back.)
2.30am
By this stage of the early morning you will have watched four films and if it’s not too late you should definitely watch one more. Try and pick something obscure, a little bit different that your friends may not have even heard of, let alone seen. I suggest the Spanish film [rec], although you can easily go for the American remake, Quarantine, since they’re both effective and essentially shot-for-shot.
This short (it’s 78 minutes) fright fest from directors Juame Balaguero and Paco Plaza is so intense and terrifying that it will leave you and your mates so frazzled and mentally exhausted – it’s a perfect end to your evening of Halloween madness.
4.00am
Your friends leave and you’re all alone in your empty house. Make sure you check the closets, under your bed and around every corner before slinking into bed. Don’t get too freaked out by the creaking floorboards or the possum on the roof though, just repeat to yourself “it was only a movie… it was only a movie…”
