* I have to admit, I over-Obama-ed this week and became jaded. I found myself wondering how many more metaphors for the enduring spirit of the people, who this was all really about, he could coin. Forgive me. The 44th American President’s first public act in office has been to formalize strict new limits on lobbyists operating in his White House. The new rules stop staff from working on issues they had previously lobbied over, or from lobbying former colleagues for at least two years after they leave the administration.
This, and the repealing of several highly secretive Bush era laws was enough to completely overcome my cynicism and win me back (not that I vote in the US, and therefore not that Obama should care). Then he announced he was freezing the salaries of all all highly paid public servants – it was his ‘you complete me’ (in answer Barack, ‘You had me at hello’).
For those worried he would be kicked out of office for not taking his oath properly (there are 5 of you) fear not. He has re-taken the oath of office after the inauguration stumble by the Chief Justice (of all the times to get stage fright) to clear up any legal ambiguity over saying a single word (‘faithfully’) out of order. There’s a good dyslexic joke in that one somewhere.
* Anyone having a career crisis of faith, now is not the time to be making any sudden movements. Unless you’re in retail or mining, in which case, now is the time to creep very slowly towards the door.
* A new scandal has rocked the Catholic church in the US, and it really isn’t what you think. A priest has pleaded guilty to embezzling $1.21 million to buy luxury homes, take trips to Vegas, and buy rare coins. Rare coins. It gets better, just when it looks like a sex-free religion-based disgrace, we discover Father Guinan had an intimate relationship with a former church book-keeper, and much of his stash was stolen to support her lavish lifestyle.
* The global economic crisis has claimed a new victim. Attempts to sell Saddam Hussein’s luxury yacht have failed, despite it being kitted out with swimming pools, a mosque and a missile launcher. Between said missiles, and a mini submarine, it’s the perfect Dr Evil lair.
* Headline of the day: ‘England’s Gymbox in Bank lets you bench press dwarves’. All true – the gym has replace dumbbells with human weights … including dwarves who shout encouragement as you exercise. I cannot think of anything more off-putting. The weights wear black leotards with their mass written across their chest. It’s from the same gym that brought you ‘chav fighting’ and ‘WAG workouts’. Apparently, this is not a gimmick.
I have this searing urge to reenact that brilliant scene in The Office where David Brent asks what the difference between a midget and a dwarf is, and then Gareth says ‘so what’s an elf then?’