As each week rolls around, I get a little nervous that an idea of what to write about hasn’t come to me yet. And then, like divine intervention, something happens that makes me shake my head in disbelief at the weirdness of America. This week was no exception. And it was on a very divine level indeed.
Yesterday, as part of shooting a short film, we decided to go through a drive-thru and secretly film for a bit of fun. The closest restaurant to where we were filming was an In-N-Out, an establishment I have mentioned in a previous article. Of course I had to order something, so I opted for a thick-shake. Later, upon finishing said shake, it was brought to my attention there was something hidden under the cup. John 3:16. Imprinted inside the lip of the underside of the cup. It was then explained to me that the In-N-Out Burger chain was founded by a very religious family and if you look closely on burger wrappers, cups and fries packets you will find various imprinted bible verse references. The coming together of fast food and religion seemed to me a little strange.
But then what do you expect from the city that gives you Scientology? Now I’m not here to debate the beliefs of religions, I just find the whole thing fascinating, particularly seeing as it has such a high profile here in LA. Not only are there many scientology church type places around, but on Franklin Avenue in Hollywood, is the ‘Church of Scientology Celebrity Centre International’. An impressive building in a Norman Bates kinda way. And you are most welcome to take a tour. On this tour you will be schooled on the ideals of Scientology and, if you feel the inclination, you may book yourself in for an ‘audit’ – a process where the auditor “uses a electropsychometer, or E-Meter, to measure the spiritual state or change of state of the person”. Apparently, by itself, the E-Meter can do nothing but “in the hands of a trained auditor, it serves the auditor to help the individual locate areas of spiritual duress.” I wonder if it would show that one of those areas of duress in my life was the two hours I once spent watching Battlefield Earth. Two hours I will never get back thanks to Mr. L Ron Hubbard.
Scientology’s own website says that it is a religion in the oldest sense of the word. With a symbol that dates back to 1954. That’s some religious history. Funnily enough McDonalds opened its first restaurant just a year later. Obviously the Golden Arches was a much more memorable and marketable symbol. A friend of mine regaled me with how he did the Scientology tour after a few ‘herbal’ cigarettes. He doesn’t remember too much of the tour and so couldn’t tell me if it made the ideologies of Scientology make more sense, or less. This may explain why there so many legal marijuana ‘clinics’ in LA. A quick smoke seems the perfect predecessor to attempting to fully understand the ideology ‘that souls (thetans) reincarnate and have lived on other planets before living on Earth’.
In fact the diversity of the population of Los Angeles means there is a church, belief, or temple to suit every need. And, in the true style of LA, the religious structures are by no means subtle in their appearance. You could easily do a very lengthy and impressive tour of the many buildings throughout the city. Obviously the large Catholic Latino community is well served. But Los Angeles is also home to the second largest temple operated by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Not to mention that the region has the second largest population of Jews in the United States and many synagogues can be found, along with places devoted to religions such as Islam, Buddhism, Zoroastrianism, Sikhism, and Sufism just to name a few. Yes I had to look up Zoroastrianism too – check this out for an impressively high-tech website. Apparently Los Angeles is also home to the greatest variety of Buddhists in the world.
However, the most impressive of all structures has to be the Crystal Cathedral in Orange County – home of the ‘Hour of Power’ Crystal Cathedral Ministries and described as a ‘Protestant Christian Megachurch and a Southern Californian architectural landmark’. Its pipe organ is one of the largest in the world. However the thought of something religious having the largest organ in the world doesn’t sit well with me. Which reminds me, I saw Ron Jeremy at a movie premiere last night. He didn’t look like a religious man at all. If he was a church, though, he’d give the Crystal Cathedral a run for its money.
I think why I find the whole religion thing so fascinating in LA, is because it’s so prevalent, and yet, let’s face it, LA is not exactly known for its moralistic fortitude. Here, if you can actually make your marriage last until the end of the honeymoon, that’s considered a success.
So, back to In-N-Out and its secret messages. This all sounded like a ridiculous marketing ploy to me. I thought that I would Google In-N-Out and John 3:16 and maybe find some tongue in cheek ‘In-N-Out Scriptures’ that were dreamed up in jest by a savvy marketing company, and that John 3:16 would actually read something like, ‘and Moses leaned on the counter of McDonalds and said unto Jesus, “Christ, what does it take to get a burger around here? I’m heading to In-N-Out”. But lo and behold my research showed that the first In-N-Out was opened in 1948. Pre McDonalds. Which again, shows the value of a recognisable symbol and a good marketing department. But yes, indeed the bible references began appearing in the 1980s as a reflection of the beliefs of the founding Snyder family. A sneaky lot they were. So sneaky that In-N-Out has a secret menu that does not appear on the menu board. The Neapolitan shake, the grilled cheese sandwich, the Flying Dutchman, and ‘animal style’ burgers and fries where mustard is added to the meat when it grills, are all things you can order if you are in the know. Personally I think I’ve figured out why it is called In-N-Out – one look at the ‘animal’ style fries and you just know that a meal like that is not going to be spending more than a few minutes inside your stomach before reappearing at a most inopportune moment. At least you could quote a bible passage as you spend the next hour locked in a cubicle praying to God to make the impromptu gastro evacuation cease.
The last time I mentioned In-N-Out in a column, it was when the 9×9 burger was brought to my attention. This is where you order a burger with 9 meat patties and 9 slices of 
cheese. More common is the 3×3 or the 4×4, but in fact you can add as many patties at an additional cost as you like. Apparently the biggest ordered is a 100×100. I would have hated to have been standing behind the person who ordered that. For various reasons.
Maybe that’s the reason for the hidden bible references – because, after finishing a burger that size, no doubt the next face you see will be that of The Almighty. So maybe it’s best to know a couple of bible verses before you go. Mind you, what a way to go.
Amen to that.
In-N-Out Cup by laughing squid on Flickr
Scientology by evaxebra on Flickr
Crystal Cathedral by OZinOH on Flickr
Animal Fries by Nat Hansen on Flickr
