Japanese Story Part 3: Odaiba
Ahhh, the serenity. The serenity of sitting on a balcony beside Tokyo Bay eating what is meant to be a pavlova, listening to the sound of what birds still remain and watching the throngs of tourists take pictures of each other standing in front of things. In front of the pristine Statue of Liberty replica, in front of the sparkling water none of them would dare ever drink, in front of the polished and massive uber-malls. It’s a beautiful day, everyone is happy, and nobody can be arsed with reality anymore. Odiba is where you go to be stupid.
It’s a scientific fact that Tokyo air is comprised mainly of oxygen, carbon-dioxide and large particles of unreality. So the place where the inhabitants of the world’s greatest truth-vacuum go on their day-trips has to be pretty ridiculous. Odiba is way on the outskirts of the city, most accessible by a fully automated monorail (yes, monorail) caught from a station further inland. There are museums, parks and TV station headquarters there, but mainly people go there to see the collection of entertainment-filled shopping malls.
One of the most mind-meltingly love-kitsch places on the planet is the shopping centre VenusFort. The multi-story mall is meant to be an idealized Venice and a trip to VenusFort is almost a prerequisite for all Tokyoite romantic relationships. Almost completely indoors, it features fountains, columns, and an all-encompassing fake sky that actually changes colour from night to day (a revolution takes less than an hour) so you can sit on the restaurant court balcony and watch a lovely pinky sunset. As many of the locals don’t know the concept of “irony”, gobs of earnest couples get engaged and attempt serious weddings here. You may even see these lovebirds at the Toyota Mega Web car showroom next door puttering around in car rides, or enjoying the view from what may-or-may-not-be the world’s biggest Ferris Wheel nearby.
For those who wish to both wash off the cloying sweetness of Tokyo rabu-rabu (love-love with a Japanese accent) and piss off historians at the same time, there’s the hot spring theme-park Oedo Onsen Monogatari. A “replica” of old-skool Edo Tokyo, the gimungous bath house features its own in-house Capsule Hotel. When you enter, you’re given a yukata to wear in between dips. However, if you have any tattoos, you are obviously a hard-ass-yakuza-gangster type and will have to cover it up, so as not to rile up the local hard-ass-yakuza-gangsters who are allowed to show their full back body-pictures with impunity.
Another wonderful example of uber-reality is Daiba Little Hong Kong, a 1930’s China themed restaurant court occupying two floors of the Decks shopping mall. The decor of this place is awesome, complete with artful shadows and spot lighting, and everything is heavy on the gold and red. To finish the “authentic” effect, a track of street sounds are played on the hidden speakers. The food, surprisingly, is quite good – unlike other countries, Japan takes its entertainment seriously and food theme parks are not only popular, but staffed by high quality chefs. (So it’s strange that the food at Tokyo Disney was sub-par. Bloody foreigners.)
Looming over the glitz is the Fuji TV Station, creator of horrible soaps, tabloidy news (there’s no other kind in Japan) and most importantly, Iron Chef. If you prefer your unreality honest in its unreality, you can go on a tour and try to spot some telebee stars.
Even the much ignored museums are gimmicky. The Museum of Maritime Science is a big-arse boat shaped building. With a pool. And two ships out the front.
The beauty of this area is that it never pretends to be anything other than a slap in the face of everything that is real and true. Which is why everyone goes there, of course. And in an age where everything is trying to be more real, here’s a place which puts all its efforts into being more fake. (Cue: a bathhouse in Tokyo that tries to look like a Japanese bathhouse.)
Odaiba is awesome. Why? Because it exists, really. Enjoy.
Top and feature image by Scion_Cho on Flickr
Middle image by Stefan on Flickr
Bottom image by w00kie on Flickr
