Just Rewards

I have become a slave to rewards schemes. All of them – buy-one-get-one-free, buy-9-and-get-the-10^th-free – anything that puts a little card in my wallet. My impressive collection now boasts the stock standard Qantas Frequent Flyer card, Woolworths Everyday Rewards, my leagues club card and the more elusive Hyatt Gold card. I don’t fly that much but I am consumed by the need to obtain the highest possible amount of points to further my status from Bronze to Silver, Gold, Platinum or Chairman’s club. I have now tied up the frequent flyer card with the Woolworths card, so I buy things I don’t need just to try to get points; so far this has added only five or six hundred points. I also look for any possible excuse to fly to Scarf Town (Melbourne) because this gives me a thrilling 1000 points.

Now, there are only two possible reasons for my behaviour. At least I think there are only two. Firstly, I may be suffering from some personal problem which has caused my obsessive and addictive behaviour. While this is probably partly true, I feel there are other forces at play. You see, these types of schemes are designed to manipulate the type of behaviour that I demonstrate, and they obviously work. The schemes provide us with the idea we’re getting a little more value than a normal shopper. They give people the little glimmer of hope that there is some good in the world and this ultimately keeps us able to function and not just close up shop and live in a cave eating rats and reading old crime fiction books.

I cannot adequately describe the sheer joy and that feeling of success when I get a discount with my leagues club membership card, to the point that I have gone out of my way to receive a free bottle of wine from the bottle shop (that was not good enough to fuel my car) if I purchased another equally rubbish bottle. This is the type of wine that you would not even put into a hastily concocted Bolognese sauce. I got something for free and I didn’t do anything for it. Well that’s a lie, because I drove there, bought a bottle I didn’t want just to get a free one. That was worth it, because at another point in time I would have bought it anyway, and I would not have received a free one. To be honest, the more I think about this, the more it becomes apparent that I actually have a problem.

Apparently, the clever marketing of these schemes is carefully regulated by the ACCC to control collusion and the eventual degeneration of value for consumers. This has particularly been the case with the Woolworths points card tied to Caltex fuel outlets. It has become a staple of daily life to ask at home, ‘have you got one of those Woolies fuel docket things?’ or ‘don’t forget your woollies card for points and fuel, if you do I will be very upset with you’ (in so many words). This happens because we always desire something free, even though efficiency is lost in finding the right service station, all the while no one really understands how fuel is priced anyway so why do we even bother trying to get it cheaper? There is no doubt that they cover the 4 cents anyway in some way by making the price higher. How would we know?

Recently my obsession with rewards schemes reached a new low when I tried to book a flight to Dubai and then onto Europe. I tried with all my heart to obtain a Qantas flight but the way I had organised the trip, Qantas was going to be unable to support my needs. This upset me greatly as it was a European getaway and I would have been able to obtain a higher class of frequent flyer from it. I thought of all the points I was missing out on. As distressing as this was, my solution was to fly Emirates and join their frequent flyer scheme. Now I have a bit of a predicament. Which scheme gets priority? How can you weigh up the worth of flying each carrier on free points? Have I broken up with Qantas frequent Flyers? Should I remain loyal to my first flyer program – she has been good to me; or do I splurge and fly with her more luxurious Middle Eastern neighbour. Nightmare! The things that idiots waste their time thinking about.

The second low point was one night a month or so ago. I, rather invariably, ended up at Golden Century Chinese Restaurant (a notorious Sydney Chinese Restaurant open all hours of the day: I only go there after 2am). To my utter delight I recalled that this restaurant was covered in the Qantas frequent flyer program as a partner so one can obtain 3 flyer points for every dollar spent. We spent 300 dollars or so between us all (a large festive group) and for no effort I got three times the points on my card, with receipt for proof. The moment I remembered that it was possible to get points, I made it my role to irritate Kevin our waiter every time he came past, by asking about when I could swipe my card, as I was not going to let this amazing opportunity slip from my grasp. Kevin responded with “Lamb Pancake Sir and one Tsingtao”. I said “Thanks”, and just asked again later.

Maybe I have an obvious mental issue, but I still believe that these schemes bring out emotions in us that we often relegate to the rear of our minds in our busy daily lives. Not even the hunt for a bargain beats the feeling that we are all intertwined in this web of commerce where loyalty and lemming behaviour are rewarded. I am just trying to get by without doing anything and getting everything for free or partly free. Surely that is efficient. If I reduce my spending and increase my consumption, surely I am doing my bit for the economy. I am just creating more disposable income for myself to actually spend on flights, fuel and restaurant food.