We all know Marilyn Monroe wore nothing to bed except for a few drops of #5. That immortal line is in the cannon of bombshell quips, alongside just about everything Mae West ever uttered. Fragrance has a long and colourful association with beautiful women, from those of Ancient civilisations to the airbrushed celebrities who writhe their way through perfume campaigns today.
There are so many fragrances and so many bombshells and if I had the time, the resources and the endless samples, I’d write a book (idea is copyrighted as of now) but I don’t. So I have chosen a select handful, of both perfumes and bombshells so as not to overload you all, this close to Christmas.
There are four big, full bodied, voluptuous fragrances here to match four full bodied, voluptuous bombshells. I’m not talking run of the mill perfumes launched today, forgotten tomorrow and advertised by the latest unknown name with a familiar face. I’m talking fragrances that would have been fit for the real stars, the big names and the most famous faces of the past century. The type of pin-ups they just don’t make anymore.
Some are old, some new, but all are beautifully made and swoon-inducing. For those wanting to make a feminine statement with their fragrance, these are for you …
#5 Eau Premiere by Chanel
She’d wear this to bed in the summer: Marilyn Monroe
Chanel #5 isn’t for everyone. In fact, for people our age, it’s barely for anyone. ‘Powdery’, ‘like an old woman’, ‘like my grandma’ are common responses when one asks what Chanel #5 smells like. Sure, we know it’s the most famous fragrance of recent times, and one that has never been matched in infamy since its creation – nor has any other fragrance had the saucy, unprompted endorsement of one of the most famous women to have ever lived … but you’d be hard-pressed finding anyone born after 1950 who can tell you just what it is that is so special about #5. (Noses, fragrance fanatics and Chanel lovers do not count.)
As a relatively young fan who is yet to spritz her #5 EDP because she doesn’t want to lose the air bubble preserving it in all its scented glory, I can tell you one of the reasons I love it, iconic status aside, is that they just don’t make perfume like it anymore.
A fragrance that truly develops on the skin, throughout the day, and lasts. One drop of #5 and you’ll be breathing it in all day. Probably all night. And I daresay the next morning as well. Yes it’s powdery, yes it’s far heavier than the floral perfumes we’re used to dousing ourselves in (that disappear thirty minutes later) but it is inarguably the grand dame of fragrances, and she rules an unruly, fickle industry with an iron fist clad in a velvet glove.
Eau Premiere was designed to suck the young ones in, despite using The World’s Tautest Face in the campaign. It’s supposed to be a softer, fresher take on an older, stuffier classic. Which, in some ways, it is. It’s not as strong, or sharp – after it has dried down – and there is a greater hint of rose, jasmine and neroli than in the original. That being said, when I sprayed it on myself, my friend who was with me sniffed the air ten minutes later and said ‘I can smell powder. I can smell my grandma.’ So it’s really not that much of a departure from the original. If it were, there would surely be outrage on a mass scale (amongst the fragrance lovers) – there is only so much tweaking you can do to such an icon, and retain the oh-so-famous name.
It’s pretty and soft and sure to be spritzed by those wanting to align themselves with the status of #5, but without doing the hard slog of wearing a 90 year old perfume.
The notes are the same as the original, with greater focus on the rose and jasmine.
Top: ylang ylang, neroli, aldehydes
Middle: May rose, Grasse jasmine
Base: sandalwood, bourbon vanilla, vetiver
Palazzo by Fendi
Embodied by (the ultimate body): Sophia Loren
This is the Italian bombshell of the fragrance world, squeezed into a designer pencil skirt, and sent tap-tap-tapping down the Spanish Stairs at twilight. Palazzo packs a huge, beautiful punch and is absolutely not for the shy or subtle. Just like a photo of Sophia Loren in a gingham bikini can stop the hearts of most hot blooded hetero (and homo, let’s not lie) sexual men, this fragrance will have the wearer fending the admirers off with a Baguette. It is sensual, provocative and oh-so Italian.
Fendi Palazzo is based on one of my absolute favourite notes, the orange blossom, in an homage to the distinctly Mediterranean flower. Get that tailored sun dress on, buy a pistachio coloured vesper and go meet your young Italian lover for an espresso beneath the Roman sun.
Top: mandarin, bergamot, pink pepper
Middle: orange blossom, jasmine, Bulgarian rose
Base: patchouli, gaiac wood
Blonde by Versace
Because she was the original blonde bombshell: Jean Harlow
Nothing much Donatella Versace creates, is subtle. The same can be said for her mane of hair. As a child, she was called la biondina by her family, ‘the little blonde girl’, and as an adult, this designer has given new meaning to the term peroxide-blonde. This fragrance, launched in 1995, was one meant for Donatella Verrrrrsace, and all the blondes out there who feel they can ‘take on the world’ (not my words). This, of course, makes it perfect for the very first blonde bombshell, who preceded them all, Jean Harlow.
Blonde is not backwards in coming forwards – indeed, I’d say it’s in the same school as Fendi’s Palazzo when it comes to making a statement. The gardenia is strong in the opening note, and there are no holds barred with the floral middle notes. Wear this if you want to turn serious heads, and not just because your hair is white and touches your derriere.
Top: gardenia, pittosporum, violet, neroli, bergamot
Middle: tuberose, narcissus, ylang ylang, carnation
Base: benzoin, musk, sandalwood, civet
PS: Wondering what civet it? The territory-marking excretion of a small, African mammal. These days, it’s largely synthetic, so the little critters aren’t harmed for the purpose of collecting this divine potion.
Yvresse by Yves Saint Laurent
The sauciest champagne blonde of them all: Mae West
The woman who avoided temptation, unless she couldn’t resist it, generally chose the evil she hadn’t tried, when confronted by two, and never loved anyone else more than she loved herself, has written herself into the history books as one of the most quoted va-va voom actresses of her time. There wasn’t anything she didn’t have a witty quip for, from men to guns to Paris to, well, men, and people loved and censored her for it.
Yvresse, originally called Champagne until a little legal trouble forced YSL to change the name, is a burst of citrus freshness atop a flirtatious floral middle. It was designed to capture the bubbly feeling of drinking champagne, and does so with a big dose of nectarine and mint. It’s as refreshing as a chilled glass of Moet on a hot summer’s night, and settles down to become a lasting, provocative presence.
Should you wear this, you simply must, at some point say to a man, any man – is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me? Mae would be so proud.
Top: anise, nectarine, mint
Middle: blue rose, otto, lychee
Base: patchouli, oak moss, vetiver
Q&A
“How long do fragrances last for?” – Jen, Canada
Unopened, unsprayed and stored in a cool place, fragrances can, and will, last for years. Don’t leave them in the sun, or the heat, this shortens their lifespan dramatically. Once sprayed, the little bubble leaves the tube and oxygen gets into the liquid, so from there on in you’ve got about 3-4 years of use – again, only if kept cool and away from direct sunlight. I have perfumes that are seven years old and going strong, so don’t stress about collecting too many – there is plenty of time to use them all. This is what I tell myself.
