The only reason anyone will ever choose to see Bride Wars is based purely on the charisma of Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson. The problem is, even that seems to be on mute. Perhaps it’s the awkward opening photographic montage that tells a vapid tale of directorial laziness, or the fact that Candice Bergen spends more time narrating than appearing, but the whole thing seems rushed. It has the feel of a half-written script, and a production schedule so muddled they didn’t actually manage to get all the required shots. Ladies and gentlemen, I think we can call this film the first official victim of the writer’ strike (as far as quality is concerned). Five writers are credited with this script, I can only assume they worked in shifts and never compared notes.
Bride Wars tells the tale of Liv (Hudson) and Emma (Hathaway), two lifelong best friends who have been planning their dream weddings together since childhood. When a clerical error sees the happiest days of their lives booked for the same date, and neither is willing to budge, all out war ensues. It’s a truly mortifying version of womanhood presented for women to watch and admire. The females of the species are deadlier than the male … when it comes to nuptials. This is because we are all secretly obsessed with getting married and having a day devoted wholly to us.
As a result of this obsession we are willing to sacrifice friends, dignity and masses of money. I know feminism is dead and all, but it seems the Bridezilla is alive and well. I would go so far as to say this is a movie that does not like women. This film manages to make every single character almost impossible to sympathise with. This would be fine if it managed to be hysterically funny at the same time, but it fails here as well. All the best bits are in the trailer, and let’s not kid ourselves people, the trailer is an unfortunate beast all by itself (I have visions of the five writer’s leaving each other a series of notes, trying to find out who was meant to pack the funny).
Hudson and Hathaway sleepwalk through the entire thing, falling back on the goodwill they have developed. For Hudson, this has been a long slippery slope she started down several films ago (Fool’s Gold …), but for Anne Hathaway (sorry, Academy Award nominee Anne Hathaway) this is the first poor script choice she has made in a while (since straight to video Havoc). Anne may think she’s immune to such missteps, but she needs to remember Kate was nominated once as well.
The brilliant Bergen is completely wasted – she would have taken over the show with a few more scenes, and you’ll find yourself wishing she had. All the male roles are completely under-written. The girls’ fiancés are bland cut-outs, and there is a bizarrely sudden and under-developed sub plot involving a brother that will make you roll your eyes.
This is a guilt ridden chick flick, mass-produced and under-achieving from the get go. A premise filled with potential, doomed from the beginning by a terrible script.
The image is a still taken from the movie, courtesy of Faded Youth Blog
Saw it on the weekend, purely because it was the only thing on at the cinema at the time I rocked up there… it made me cringe mostly, so touche Jess for putting my thoughts to paper. The only good thing about the film was Kate Hudson’s eye makeup, and the thought I got when the credits began to roll: thank god I’m not completely mental.
I completely agree, especially about the subplot with the brother – it’s as if they suddenly realised, oh, we need an ending. Rather than do something like rewrite the script so it makes sense, let’s just add something completely new and no one will notice.
Why are there no good, intelligent romantic comedies anymore?