Joining a swag of apocalyptic films hitting our screens of late, including The Road and The Book of Eli, is Legion, easily the worst of the bunch.

It’s December 23^rd and de-winged, gun-toting fallen angel Michael (Paul Bettany, The Da Vinci Code) has rebelled against God’s command to smite all of mankind – God, so says the film’s narration, has tired of mankind’s “bullshit”. Michael however, keeps the faith and is on his way to a desolate diner somewhere in the Mojave desert where Charlie (Adrianne Palicki, Friday Night Lights), a heavily pregnant waitress, is carrying a very special cargo.

Yes, it’s the second coming, a new savior for mankind and Michael will do whatever it takes to protect it. That includes battling a plague of demonically possessed humans and God’s legion of less-than-heavenly hosts lead by Michael’s arch rival Gabriel (Kevin Durand, X Men Origins: Wolverine). Standing guns-a-ready alongside Michael is diner owner Bob (Dennis Quaid), chef Percy (Charles S. Dutton, Gothika) rebellious teen Audrey (The OC’s Willa Holland), drifter Kyle (Tyrese Gibson, 2 Fast 2 Furious) and Bob’s mechanic son Jeep (Lucas Black, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift).

What could have been an interesting premise – bad-arse angels carrying out God’s wrath – largely falls flat simply because we don’t see enough of them. The penultimate battle between Michael and Gabriel brandishing a mechanical mace-like

weapon is the best we get. Instead, much of the action focuses on the demon horde which, rendered like zombies, we’ve seen time and time again (with the exception of a profane, ceiling-climbing granny and an arachnid-like ice-cream man – yes, you read correctly).

While the film’s makers may have envisioned spicing up the genre with innovation, there’s precious little of that, with Legion offering up a tired checklist of horror clichés from exploding corpses to demonic children, not to mention reaping from the grave the tired old scenario of a disparate group stranded in isolation, fighting the good ol’ fight against evil.

Tipping its hat to everything from The Exorcist to Poltergeist, Legion to be fair, has its tongue-in-its-cheek moments. While there are some laughs (some intentional, more not) the dialogue is mercilessly cheesy and the acting, on the whole, wooden. Even the usually fine Bettany can’t bring any gravitas here.

What’s more, attempts at spiritual and existential pondering between skirmishes are ham-fisted and do little to evolve what is a sorry bunch of one dimensional characters. The religious iconography and banter too, is as subtle as a sledgehammer.

Those who like their B grade schlock nice and predictable may find something to like in Legion. For everyone else, no amount of prayer or divine intervention can save this cinematic turkey.