So …
You may have coughed up the extra $30 for the breakfast buffet in a swank hotel. Perhaps it has come as a ‘free gift with purchase’. Either way, learning to make the most of a hotel breakfast buffet is both an art and a science- and one where there’s no room for amateurs.
Pull up a perch. Sun Tzu has nothing on the masters.
You Need To …
Engage in a series of steps. I’ve taken the liberty of outlining them below. The successful employment of these steps will guarantee a brilliant breakfast that will set you up for the day ahead.
It’s an Art …
Step 1: You don’t want to stand on the edge of the forest like Bambi.
Lay your plans. Get to know your terrain. Even if it’s your second or third day at the hotel take a casual lap or two to scope it out- just in case it changes day to day. Where are the pastries? Where is the yogurt? Where is the juice? What’s the special? Where have they tucked the delightful fellow flipping the omelettes? And most importantly- how far away is that station from the toaster?
Step 2: Then, take the time to investigate your beverage options.
Don’t just assume you’re limited to tepid tea and boiler plate coffee. There could be espressos and banana smoothies. There could be freshly squeezed spirulina and pineapple frappes. There could be hot chocolate with marshmallows – and you could be missing it.
Step 3: Then it’s time for the most fundamental part of the planning; formulate a deployment strategy.
In each trip back to the buffet the aim is to construct complete plates out of the produce available. But have some sense. Ask yourself some questions. Would you normally have baked beans as an accompaniment to a sticky praline pastry? Would you normally have a side of watermelon snuggling up to your sausages? Probably not.
Step 4: Your first plate is most likely to be savoury.
So – pick your eggs. You can usually judge the standard of any hotel buffet by their poached proteins and whether they’ll do them to order. If your egg comes in a little metal collar, walk away. That’s what McHappy day is for.
But if they’re making your eggs for you get two eggs going and use the three minutes up your sleeve to source some carbohydrates. Put whatever you choose in the toaster conveyor belt. Go sniff out the smoked salmon in the strangely Scandinavian cold meat section. Start to source out the cheese board. Find the cream cheese hiding in the back. Find the grilled tomato. Grab your toast. Grab your eggs. Make a plate.
Suddenly you’re looking down at a first course of poached eggs on a cream cheese and smoked salmon bagel with a side of roasted tomato. You’re a legend without your lunchbox.
If that’s not quite your cup of tea a similar principle will apply to pairing omelettes with baked beans, mushrooms and hash browns- there; a real cooked breakfast. All on your own.
A word from the wise – choose either omelette’s or eggs. Not both. This is about strategy, not complete gluttony.
Step 5: Now you’ve moved on. It’s time for some sweet carbohydrates.
Now remember; there’s a question you want running through your head; ‘if this was on a menu, would I order it? ‘
If what’s on your plate starts to read like a listing of ‘pancakes, french toast, hash browns and grapefruit and a tub of yogurt, with an afterthought glugging of maple syrup’ you know you’ve lost the plot and the point of the exercise. There’s every chance you’re starting to look like an amateur again.
In some of the best cases you could have bircher muesli, yogurt and fruit. Put them together and you’ve got another plate. But stop- are there some flaked almonds over with the cheese you can add to the top? Some berry coulis that was meant for the pancakes you could swirl on top and take it to the next level?
Or could you be toasting some coconut bread, or picking out some pancakes or French toast and topping it with a banana you’ve sliced, a dollop of vanilla yogurt and raisins?
Step 6: Then it’s the fruit plate. Put a little bit of yogurt and honey on the side and dip it.
Step 7: Now, don’t get too pleased with yourself and go crazy at this point.
If you haven’t committed at the start to an Asian-themed breakfast, don’t suddenly think dim sum and congee are going to be a good addition to your journey. Trust me. You’ll regret it and end up with a sad little salty plate sitting to the side, mocking you and your cutlery too.
Instead it’s time for a pastry or two to nibble on from a fresh plate while you finish your coffee. The fresh plate is important. The last thing you want is your croissant glugging about in a sticky river of pink watermelon sludge.
Step 8: Then it’s the final hurdle; the exit strategy – smuggling an apple, a muffin and a couple of rolls into your handbag, so you can have a little bit later at lunch.
Remember …
The true victor is determined by not how much you’ll eat for breakfast- but by how little you’ll need to eat for lunch.
