Rite of Passage: Eating Vegemite in Australia

This week, it’s all about sampling the finest of Australian dishes and appreciating its rich history (and Vitamin source) whilst you’re at it.

So …

You’ve done the Bondi-Bronte walk, tried your hand at surfing, taken a photograph with a koala, sipped a cooling VB and suffered serious sunburn. You may even have spent a drunken evening learning how to talk with the Australian accent, something most nationalities cannot do and so shouldn’t try. Perhaps you are sporting board shorts and thongs, and the majority of your digital camera memory stick is taken up by photos of you in front of the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Travelling through Australia offers several rites of passage, many of which involve the beach and beer and one of which is sampling the national dish that is Vegemite. Forget the gourmet cuisine scene that is developing nicely, coast to coast, and do not feel the need to savour the allegedly authentic meals of Emu or Crocodile (although do try some Kangaroo, it’s very tender). What you cannot leave Australia without trying and subsequently falling head over heels for is Vegemite.

Vegemite. The treasured spread that every Australian cupboard is home to. The vitamin packed anti hero of the toast and sandwich world. The challenge that will, at some point, be presented to you, by a gimlet eyed Australian wielding a jar of the delicious yeast extract, trying to spread the word, pardon the pun. Before you take a walk on a wild side that doesn’t involve any of Australia’s scary flora and fauna, there are some things you should know, in order to rise to the occasion and truly complete your Australian initiation.

You Need To …

Lose the prejudice: Do not back down at the sight of the menacing black paste and do not let the words of past and prejudiced travellers ring in your ears. You will have Australian friends for life if you nod appreciatively, mouth full, even throw in an ‘mmmm’ sound. In fact entire global reputations can be rectified if you do just that (America, I’m looking at you). Remember, everything deserves a chance, even yeast extract.

Ignore the ingredients list: It will have a few concerning inclusions like, oh I don’t know, yeast extract, mineral extract, malt extract, but this is nothing to concern yourself with. All you need to know is Vegemite is one of the richest known sources of Vitamin B – such an over achiever.

Know the history: Knowing how and why Vegemite came to be will result in a soft spot for this friendly foodstuff. Vegemite was born in 1922, the result of an instruction to develop a paste from the remnants of brewery yeast extracts. During the tougher war times, Vegemite nourished our armed forces (as it continues to do today) and just before WW11 broke out, gained official product endorsement from the British Medical Association. It has been a pantry staple ever since.

Know the difference: Vegemite is not Marmite. It is better. Do not listen to English people when they say otherwise.

Where to go …         

• To the kitchen of a friendly Australian’s house.
• You can also have Vegemite on toast at McDonalds, for breakfast, if you are that way inclined.
• Most if not all cafes will offer Vegemite as a toast or sandwich spread. It is probably preferable you encounter Vegemite with an Australian, as it will enhance the overall experience.
• Australian hotels will always offer Vegemite as an option at breakfast. Do not feel bad if you feel the need to take some sachets from the buffet table with you, to snack on later during the day.
• Vegemite lines the shelves in supermarkets – one can purchase an enormous jar (which most of us do, it’s more economic) a medium jar, a small travel jar, or a convenient tube. You can even snap up handy snack-packs that comprise crackers and mini tubs of Vegemite (plastic knife included).
• If you aren’t in Australia, do not despair. Vegemite is stocked in gourmet food shops (I have numerous photographs of myself smiling proudly by a jar of Vegemite in such upscale stores in New York and London).
• Friendly Australians in hostels will almost always be travelling with a supply of vegemite. If you see them whip out a jar at the breakfast bench, politely ask if you would be able to sample it. They’ll love you forever. Of course, the situation will most likely involve them offering you a taste as opposed to you asking for it, but either way.

It Might Help if You …

Sing the theme song.  No one can resist the theme song. In fact, it was written over 50 years ago and most of us over the age of 15 can sing you the Happy Little Vegemite song. What is particularly enticing is the line ‘it puts a rose on every cheek.’ Who doesn’t want to be a rosy faced traveller cavorting around sunny Australia?

Have a glass of orange juice at the ready, in case you take a bite a portion of the bread that has a particularly thick layer of Vegemite. The saltiness may come as a shock and you may feel as if you are in desperate need of hydration.

It’s an Art …

It is imperative you have Vegemite with a lot of butter. Do not make the mistake of lathering your bread. A generous coat may be required of such spreads as Peanut Butter, or Nutella, but Vegemite bucks the trend. It is a case of less is more when it comes to Vegemite, which at times proves to be difficult with cultures to whom excess is second nature. Or, to the Germans who think everything is (and should be) chocolate, and therefore inhaled in vast amounts.

There is an art to the creation of Vegemite toast, one which has become habit to Australians, so much so that watch an Australian prepare Vegemite toast, blink, and you night miss it. Lather your bread in butter and then leverage a gentle scraping of Vegemite, carefully layering it atop the butter. The two may merge to create a new fusion paste – let this happen. I find it is often best to let the butter melt a touch, then apply the Vegemite

Do not eat Vegemite by itself. It is not a sweet snack to be surreptitiously scooped from the jar. If you do, you will absolutely regret it. As will your oesophagus lining. And do not do what these girls did (note one of them says ‘this is what they told us to do’ – they are leg-pulling Australians).

Best Friends With …

• A cup of tea. Few things in life are more comforting than a good cup of tea and some Vegemite toast. If you’re staying with an Australian family, it is nearly impossible to avoid being offered at least one of these several times a day, if not the two combined. Always accept. It is a bonding experience.
• A hangover. Vegemite is nationally hailed as a brilliant hangover food. And, perhaps, for the less brave travellers, being partially drunk may be the best time to try Vegemite. Your inhibitions will be down. Take advantage of this.

Advanced Tips …

Australians will try and trick you. It’s in our blood. They may suggest a more generous helping than is necessary, or insist it is a sweet spread. They may even offer you a spoon and invite you to plunge it into the jar, scooping up a mouthful. Don’t. On my travels, upon producing a mini-jar or travel-tube, I have had several wide eyed Americans/Europeans (although usually Americans) look on in wide eyed terror and stammer, when invited to explain said wide eyed terror ‘I was once made to try a spoonful of that stuff. I can’t. I won’t. Never again.’ And then maybe run away to gag.

I paint, perhaps, a scarier picture than is necessary, of this Australian icon. Vegemite is far less dangerous than, say a Great White Shark, or Saltwater Crocodile, and far less poisonous than a Funnel Web Spider, or King Brown Snake. But, like most things in this weird and wonderful country, it should be approached with appropriate, and equal, amounts of trepidation and awareness. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

Next week in Rites of Passage, we look at getting the most out of the Breakfast Buffet.