When I first started researching scary celebrities, I thought with a bit of smart googling, I’d be inundated with images of Lady Gaga’s outrageous outfits (meat dress, anyone?), pictures of Jordan with her too-thin eyebrows and orange spray tan and pretty much anything of Heidi Montag. But it seems the celebrity images most often associated with the scary tag, all come with the caption, ‘without make up’. Because, you know, that’s just so shocking.
Now, because not wearing makeup, in the real world, is not actually scary thing, I thought I’d try and recreate the truly scary looks out there; I’m talking Amy Winehouse ( staying in a Carribean resort and stealing drinks off other guests), Snooki (anytime, but especially when she’s drunk and trying to find a man – so, all the time) and Heidi (enough said).
Snooki
Let’s start with cute lil Snooks. To get this too-hot-to-handle look, you must start with an extreme spray tan. Think Ross Gellar in the tanning booth, unable to count to three (is it one-Mississippi-two-Mississippi-three-Mississippi then turn?) Looking delectably orange over there? Perfect. Now it’s time for a skin-tight-no-underwear-allowed mini dress (and when I say mini, I mean why-not-show-everyone-what-you-had-for-breakfast mini). And forget the rule that says ‘only boobs or legs’ – if we’re recreating Snooki’s hot mess look, we’re going all the way. So I want you to show boobs and legs.
Now for her makeup.
Base: You’re probably thinking your face is sufficiently orange, but I think we should add a bit more bronzer anyway, to get my favourite look – what I like to call ‘dirty face’. Make sure you have a good foundation line as well, and just cover this with tons of bronzer. If you can find a foundation that is about two shades darker than your actual skin tone, this is perfect too.
Eyes: Get a black eyeliner, and draw dark lines around the top and bottom of your eyes. Colour your entire eyelid black, and don’t forget your false eyelashes. If you’re willing, and if you want to get this look perfecto, I suggest plucking your brows until they are nothing more than a thin line, getting a black eye pencil, and drawing a dark thin line where your brows used to be.
Lips: Get a nude to light-pink shiny lipstick, and a dark lip pencil. Line your lips with the dark pencil, and fill them with the nude lipstick. Love it.
Essential items not to be forgotten:
A piercing shriek, a drink in your hand at all times, and a keen eye for hunting potential lovers.
Amy Winehouse
Now let’s move onto my favourite hot mess, dear old Amy Winehouse. My absolute favourite tale I read about her was when she was on holiday in the Caribbean and was spotted by guests who were staying at the same resort, scampering quickly in and out of the bar, on her hands and knees, stealing drinks from people’s tables. If this inspires you, and you find looking at Amy a little bit horrifying, then why not recreate her look this Halloween.
Base: You’ll need a heavy foundation to recreate Amy’s look. Find a colour that matches your skin tone, and just cake that bad boy on. More is definitely less in this instance. You’ll also want a touch of bronzer, so sweep that nicely across your cheek bones.
Eyes: Like Snooki, Amy likes her eyes nice and dark. But to get Amy’s look you’ll need a liquid eyeliner. Once you have this, line the tops of your eyes quite heavily, and then continue the line about an inch after your eye ends, and make a nice thick wing. Also get a dark eye pencil and colour in your eyebrows.
Hair: Turn your head upside down, and back comb your hair as much as possible. Spray about a can of hairspray into it. Now flip back the right way up – your hair should be standing up a bit. Get a whole lot of hair clips, and make a nice big bird’s nest on top of your head. If you can, grab some black extensions and pile them in too.
Essential items not to be forgotten:
A great snarl, an upper lip piercing, and some tattoos. Especially the one that says ‘Blake’ across her boob.
Heidi Montag
Ahhh, Heidi. Now, is that Montag or Pratt? I’m confused. What I’m not confused about though, is that fact that since having ten surgeries in one day, Heidi Montag/Pratt looks like a freak. Remember The Hills episode where she goes home to Colorado, and her mum tells her she thinks she’s made a mistake by having so much surgery? Then Heidi starts to cry (well, tries to) and her face makes this funny-trying-to-twist-up movement, but really stays pretty solid and still? Yup, Heidi looks pretty scary after having so much surgery, so we’re going to hail her today.
Apart from the far too many surgeries, Heidi always looks immaculate. So to get her look, and make it scary rather than hot, you’re going to need some creativity. I’ll give it a go for you here.
Base: Again you’ll need a heavy foundation. And lots of it. Just keep piling it on, until you look like a doll. If you can get something that freezes your face (I know they have it here, I’ve seen the ads on TV!) then put that on first. Also, overdo it once again with both blush and bronzer. Add some shimmer too, Heidi seems like she’d love a good dose of shimmer and sparkle.
Eyes: False lashes alert! You’ll definitely needs false eyelashes, lashings of mascara, and heavy eyeliner – on both top and bottom rims.
Lips: Heidi always has far too shiny lips, so very shiny lip gloss is imperative. I’m not sure how her hair is not always stuck to her lips! Go for light pinks or nudes, but make sure it is super shiny.
Hair: You’ll need a bottle of peroxide and long extensions. And before I forget, one of the scariest parts of Heidi’s face is her peroxide blonde eyebrows. Don’t forget to do yours too.
Essential items not to be forgotten:
Breast implants! Or, if you’re not going too-hardcore, you’ll need to put a couple of basketballs down your top. A creepy peroxide-bearded monkey (aka Spencer) hanging around you 24/7, controlling your life, basically talking some crazy-smack all the time. Seriously, Spencer is c-razy.
