Take Me out to the Ball Game

One cannot very well live in America and not at some point write an article about, arguably, the USA’s favourite pastime. Baseball. Now those of you not up to speed with the nuances of Baseball may see it as just another boring sport. And in some respects you’d be right. But I have had the pleasure of attending two games in the past week at contrasting stadiums and with contrasting traditions. And it is more about the experience of being in the stands rather than the game itself. And if you think Baseball surely couldn’t mean that much to a nation, then tell that to the guy who proposed to his girlfriend using the big scoreboard during the 7th Inning Stretch of last Friday night’s Dodger game. She said yes, and seemed to be pleased and smiling … despite the overwhelming tackiness of the situation.

First things first. America has a kick arse National Anthem. It’s inspiring. It allows the use of fireworks to be used on the line “and the rocket’s red glare, the bombs bursting in air…” – it gives you goose bumps. It’s no John Williamson singing Waltzing Matilda but hey not every song can be about a guy stealing a sheep and drowning himself in a billabong. Fireworks don’t really go with that. That aside, I have always found it intriguing that wearing your hat during the National Anthem is deemed disrespectful. I personally think the opposite – I like to look my best during a good anthem sing along and therefore don’t wish to be disrespectful with a case of hat hair. And apparently it’s disrespectful to serve food during the National Anthem too. I happened to be standing in line for a beer when the Anthem started and my beer was stopped mid pour so the servers could stand back in silence and stillness to acknowledge the singing. I, too, stood there in silence and stillness acknowledging the dwindling head on my half poured beer.

My mate Matt, who is in town at the moment, remarked to me how he had noticed that the national dress code for fathers over 30 seemed to be any sort of sporting team’s jersey. And not just at sporting events, but in everyday life. I’d never noticed, but he makes a good point. At this time of year it is usually a baseball t-shirt, jersey, jacket, jumper – whatever the weather dictates. I really noticed it when I entered the stadium. Now, granted this is a place where you would expect people to wear their favourite sporting team’s apparel, however it wasn’t just the die hard fans – it was literally everyone. A sea of blue greeted me at Dodger Stadium in the form of caps, jackets, shirts, towels, inflatable balls, oversize foam hands, beer coasters, souvenir soda cups… and likewise, a sea of red at Angel Stadium. Now I am a St George Dragons fan and a Swans fan, so the colour red is not foreign to me. But even I had not seen so many people decked out in red since I accidently ended up at an Amway convention. And no only that, but it’s the husband and wife ‘teams’ that struck me. You know the ones, they dress exactly the same, the hat, the shirt, the pants, the shoes – I’m sure underneath they are wearing the same underwear – which would just be wrong on so many levels. But these are Americans and they have no problem with standing out in a crowd by dressing exactly the same. What intrigues me is that surely this is an organised effort. No husband and wife accidently leave the house wearing the exact same thing. So therefore I’m assuming a conversation is had beforehand to coordinate with the precision of a SWAT team operation. And they think it looks cool. They are wrong.

What I found interesting about the two games were the similarities and differences between teams and stadiums. Some traditions are applicable to the game of baseball generally, such as the 7th Inning Stretch during which the crowd stands and sings ‘Take me out to the Ball Game’. Sometimes a celebrity is in attendance to lead the singing which can quite often turn into a farce. Denise Richards recently had that honour and has since vowed never to sing in public again. I think I can safely say that decision sits just fine with all of us. And any dogs in the vicinity of Wrigley Field.

Someone is always honoured by being allowed to throw out the first pitch. Being able to keep any baseball – or bat for that matter – that you catch in the stands is something that should be brought into all sports. Could you imagine how many AFL footies they would go through if the fans were allowed to keep what they caught? Could you imagine how many more fans would turn up if that was a possibility? Exactly. The pumping organ music at every game is strangely comforting. And of course trying to understand all the signals is a game unto itself.

But then there are the traditions that are only applicable to the home team. The Dodgers have ‘Dodger Dogs’ – which is quite simply a hot dog. Bought at Dodger Stadium. And I’m sorry to all you Dodger fans but quite frankly it’s a bit ordinary. The Angel Dog is far superior. And at $4.50 I expect a lot from my hot dog. I did however notice that a ‘real beef’ Dodger Dog was extra, which makes me wonder what is in the cheaper version. Obviously cow’s anus is a slightly better product to hog’s anus.

Then there is Angel tradition of the ‘rally monkey’. I have neither the time nor the inclination to reveal the reason behind choosing a monkey as your rally mascot but it sells monkeys. The Mets were supposedly the first to come up with the rally cap – which is where you wear your cap inside out to superstitiously incite a comeback. The Nationals have the rally towel which means that not only can you support your team but you can wipe spilt beer of your seat, ketchup of your shirt and vomit off your shoes – try doing that with a monkey. Not going to happen my friend.

So whether you go to a baseball game because you love the game, or because you simply want to sing songs, wave rally monkeys, watch fireworks, eat hog’s anus in a bun, of whatever takes your fancy, you can be rest assured that you will be well satisfied. Unless your team loses. Then it’s one, two, three strikes you’re out at the old ball game.

And to prove that I actually attended a game I have included a photograph. If for no other reason than to show that I indeed do not make up my eyewitness accounts.

Chk chk boom.