It has been said that money can’t buy happiness. I tend to agree. It has also been said that whoever believes money can’t buy happiness simply doesn’t know where to shop. I tend to agree with that too. I’m stuck, somewhere in the middle, in the case of money vs. happiness. And I’m not sure there is going to be a clear winner anytime soon.
I believe money is inextricably linked with our happiness. That money, and the things it can buy you, affects our happiness greatly. Material items make us happy. Do I believe anyone who dares suggest they do not? No. That is not to say we would be unhappy without material items, because I’m sure we’d all cope rather fine, but having material goods – cars, shoes, mobile phones, computers, books and all sorts of products – brings a certain amount of happiness to ones life. For some, it’s bikes. For others, it’s handbags. The item is irrelevant, the point is clear: stuff, things and objects that you buy, can and do make us happy.
I know the pleasure centres of my brain light up when I see pretty things draped in shop windows. I know that, for the thirty-nine minutes after I purchase a brand spanking new pair of high heeled shoes, I walk down the city streets with my purchase swinging in its oversized carry bag like I own that street. Putting those shoes on weeks later and walking into a party makes me swagger just as earnestly as when I first bought them; because I like shoes. I love them. They make me happy.
Would I cease to exist if I was not able to purchase gorgeous shoes? Of course not. Am I happier for being able to buy them? Yes and no. I like them, so they make me happy, but I’d rather lose them than many other things in my life. I’d rather eat, or see a movie, or spend time with a friend than be alone with a shoe.
It’s a documented fact that richer individuals tend to be happier than poorer ones. That richer individuals, when surveyed, were twice as likely to say they were happier than poorer folks. That could be because they are privy to a different lifestyle – an easier and healthier lifestyle, a lifestyle that involved more quality or luxury or both.
Think about the last time you got a mobile phone. Were you happy? Did a particular function on it make you smile? Did a certain feature on it make your life easier? My BlackBerry changed my life. I could live without one, but by golly I sure as hell wouldn’t to.
Think about the last time you bought a good fitting, good quality item of clothing. You may have spent a large amount on it. An exceptional amount in fact. Think about how it feels when you wear that item, how the fabric touches your skin, compared to other clothing items you may have that just don’t compare. Think about how you feel when you wear it. Imagine that feeling every time you wore anything.
A friend of mine once made a big purchase: a leather jacket from Giorgio Armani selling at half price. Half price meant the cost of the jacket was $3000, as opposed to $6000. I am not joking. It was the most stunning, beautiful tan leather jacket I had ever caressed. When he wore it people actually gasped. Did he love it? Oh yes, he did. So much so that on New Years Eve when a small splosh of red wine landed on his sleeve he panicked and immediately rushed it to a very expensive, very experienced dry cleaner, recommended by Giorgio Armani & Co. To cut to the chase: the drycleaners permanently stained the entire sleeve, and inset, of his jacket. It was no longer wearable. It looked like something you’d find in a dumper. He was devastated. I was too, for him and his pennies. What ensued was a battle between an angry man and a terrible dry cleaner. Court cases nearly erupted, and, without dragging out the story, my friend, after a very long time, finally and luckily received his money back.
I use this story to highlight a point – money often has a lot to do with perception and value. What you perceive to be important, and what you value as being so. My friend spent years searching for the perfect leather jacket and he finally found one, one he thought was going to be an investment that lasted the rest of his life. The jacket for him was a mark of success, and a signifier of change. If he could only get the perfect jacket, he could secure the perfect life.
As you know, the beautiful jacket never made it as far as a lifetime. Depending on how you look at it, the whole exercise – searching for years for a jacket, finding one, spending an incredible, even ridiculous amount on one, then having it ruined and spending months and months trying to gain back the value of it – was an entirely pointless one. He is now back where he started, with no jacket and still searching for the perfect jacket to supplement the perfect life.
Conversely, what about this: for the few times he got to wear that utterly amazing jacket, his entire being transformed. His confidence soared. He looked simply incredible. He felt like he was on top of the world. He made men and women swoon. All because of one material item, one jacket. For the few times he wore that jacket he became a happier version of himself. He threw himself into situations that he normally wouldn’t have, situations that resulted in more happy moments. Can you put a price on that? Was his happiness a direct result of wearing a piece of designer clothing? Is that shallow? Would he have been just as confident and happy in a leather jacket from a generic chain store?
Earlier this year, researchers at Stanford University in California gave a cross section of subjects the exact same wine, in different bottles, labelled with different price tags. Most of the subjects said they liked the expensive wine more than the cheaper one, which is somewhat impossible seeing as they were in actuality all the same. Here’s where the line is blurred however: researchers actually undertook MRI brain imaging scans whilst the subjects drank their wine and their brains were registered as experiencing more pleasure whilst drinking the more “expensive” wine. How can you explain that? I put it down to perception and value. The subjects believed the expensive wine carried more value, and that they as a result were more valuable as people. That others would perceive them as being more valuable for drinking expensive wine.
Personally, I choose wine by the pictures on their labels. Some are winners, some are binners, but I give them all a shot. I’ve dined at the most expensive restaurant in Melbourne where the waiter searched the underground cellar for some incredible wine for us to enjoy. It was fantastic wine, but I’ve had $10 bottles just as good. I don’t ever want to be the kind of person that feels as though their value is a direct result of their drink, handbag label or postcode. I hope I never am. I’d rather be valued for my contribution, or intelligence, or creativity, or ingenuity.
Does that mean I cannot buy Giorgio Armani heels, of which I did that very day my friend bought his jacket, and not stride more confidently? Not be slightly happier for owning them? No it does not. I couldn’t care less if, upon dying, I was remembered for my shoe collection just as much as my intellectual contribution. Both define me. Both are part of me. Why does there have to be one or another? Maybe, at the end of the day, money doesn’t actually verse happiness. Maybe it has nothing, or everything, to do with it. I don’t have all the answers but what I do know is that happiness can be bought. It can also be sold. It can also be created. I know that things and objects can inspire you just as much as people and art itself. That value does not have a limit. That perception is an individual thing. That maybe, through the mist of all the purchases, gold coins and coloured notes, happiness has always been there and will always be there. Maybe we, all of us, are the ones trying to mask it or define it or subject it rather than leaving it to just be.
Image of red wine taken by Arlo Bates on Flickr
I once broke up with a guy (after only a month of summer lovin’) because when the holiday ended I realised he was broke, unemployed (and happy to be so) and expected me to pay for everything. His response was “I’d be happy to live in rags with you” – romantic as it “sounded”, I don’t believe anyone could be happy living in rags. In today’s world, money is key to happiness – you don’t need a lot of it, but you do need it to survive. Having said that, I also know of a bag man named Ziggy from Brisbane. The man was a millionaire that lost his mind one day and traded it all in to live on the street on a mountain of plastic bags. Go figure.
Exactly. You need it to survive. You don’t need it to own and control you. Fine line. At the end of the day, people need to be happy with their choices – but that doesn’t mean forcing others to adopt those choices. Thanks Valeria.
I’m pretty much on the fence as well. Money can’t buy happiness, but it can ease general life stresses (security) and lead the path to more opportunities. I like living comfortably, and being able to buy nice things also but I don’t want to have to work allllll the time to earn money that I wouldn’t be able to enjoy.
It’s a fact money (or what having it means) makes us happy; a certain amount at least. I read a study about that recently on the Internets (that I pay too much for and would die without). But once you hit the point of having no real financial worries I think it would make little difference to your happiness levels. I also think it helps to have a) earned it yourself or b) to have experienced not having an unlimited bank account in the first place in the happy situation of winning the lottery or similar.
So for me it’s an appreciation thing…much like your friend’s expensive coat. What if the exact same coat was a real bargain at $50 without the label (we wish)? Personally I would have been just as happy as the quality and design would still be perfect and it still made me look like a million dollars. It just happens that many of the most beautiful material things in life are designed by true artisans and tend to err on the pricier end of the scale, darn it. Buying material things to wear/decorate our homes/line our bellies with are great reminders that humans are capable of creating something worthwhile even if they are just aesthetically pleasing. And for me, if I can own an amazing piece of “whatever” it inspires me to push myself creatively and makes me feel just a smidgen closer to sharing in the original designers’ talent (which is a bit silly I realise). So it’s not having the money as such, it’s more what I can do with it/spending it on what I deem worthwhile which in turn reflects something of who I am.
However there are some hideous, though expensive items (especially in fashion) that I can’t comprehend anyone desiring except to prove they can afford the pricetag and as so far removed from most people’s reality which is where I tend to think the money-lust get a bit pitiful.
I don’t want many “things” but just to surround myself with a few lovely objects is nothing to be ashamed of I feel and the luxury of a little extra money can buy that…and groceries.
Bring on K Rudd’s bonus!
*Apologies for the massive essay (“things”, “money” and “ownership” is apparently a complex, personal topic)
money completely buys you happiness! anyone who would choose to be poor is a liar. having said this, happiness can be and is derived from various sources. the beggar’s kids running in the street during monsoon are just as happy in that moment as the banker’s kids snowing in the alps!
it’s all relative.
very interesting article Sandi.
Nikki – I’m with you. Money is great, but I also don’t want to only work, work, work and never play.
Sarah – You are hilarious. No apologies required! I’m with you – it just so happens that sometimes the most beautiful of things are also the most expensive. I like having a slice of that pie. Of carefully selecting the great things in life and being able to experience them. It’s a known fact that many millionaires continue to wake for work each day and work their butts off, even when they have the money. Why? Passion, success…there’s more to it than money. Maybe that’s just a pleasant side effect.
K – Thanks. I agree – it’s all relative and entirely depends on your attitude, mindset, outlook etc. I think you addressed an interesting point – that to say you hate money, or to dismiss it altogether, is quite a lie. We all need it to survive, in one way or another, and I also do not think anyone would choose to live without a single cent. It’s not always about happiness, sometimes it’s about options.
Sandi – A wonderful piece as usual. here’s my two cents.
We’ve been raised in a capitalist society, we’re tuned to products, to the happiness of brand recognition. I have a friend who lived her first eight years in the former USSR. Her family is now split between Australia and home and they live the best way a communist can in a capitalist country. Their income is pooled and used to buy things for the family. She doesn’t have unnecessary clothes, a fancy phone, or the latest DVDs. But she is happy that way. I’ve asked many times why she wouldn’t prefer to have her own expendable income and the answer is always the same. She doesn’t need it.
Maybe Valeria didn’t match with the boy she broke up with (I fear for my own wellbeing however, since I’m a bit of a rags to riches story in the making myself!), but it’s not necessarily because of a lack of cash. It’s a general apathy towards personal expression. If he had the money he would spend it, it wasn’t an aesthetic life choice to be poor.
As for happiness. I agree, Money does buy a slice of happiness, but i’m not sure its the kind of happiness that really goes to the core. Retail therapy is all well and good but if my soul is in a state of unrest, a new pair of shoes isn’t going to bring me back until i’m sorted. It’s a fringe happiness, a pie crust happiness, a fancy new Aretha Franklin bow hat on a contented soul.
I’ve recently started buying new funky shoes for myself. They are white, or chequered, or patterned. They each cost me somewhere between $11.99 and $19.99 and I buy them at KMart. Why do they make me happy? Because they match me. They go with how I feel on the inside, and they match the clothes I also think match me.
My point is that money doesn’t necessarily buy happiness, money allows expression of identity. Whether you’re like our dear Editor-in-chief and love the entire idea of perfume, and the sensual interaction with a new range, or whether you feel on top of the world in a new pair of heels. It’s an expression of identity that makes you, you and feeling comfortable in your own skin is the greatest feeling in the world.
I agree with you Sam – money gives you the capacity to form an identity, a look, a style. That can make you happy, but it can’t give you the everlasting ‘core’ happiness that comes from passion, or friendship, or laughter. Thanks for the comment Sam.
Anyone who says money can’t buy you happiness doesn’t know where to shop
Who really cares? Wouldn’t it be better to follow your own sense of happiness than relying on the media for it?