Taking Stock
Have a think, just for a moment, about your high school years. Your dreams, your aspirations, your goals. Now, have a think about your life at present, whether you finished high school a year ago or twenty-five years ago. Are you where you thought you’d be? Do you have any regrets? Do you wish you could turn back the clock? Have you exceeded your expectations? Are you disappointed?
Last week my six year-old niece and I went to see 17 Again. Izzy went into the film expecting a High School Musical inspired tale; I went in expecting Suddenly 30. She enjoyed it; I seriously loved it. And no, it wasn’t all due to the dreamy Zac Efron (it seems I too am re-visiting my teen years). For those of you who are unaware of its storyline, it tells the tale of Mike, a man who magically becomes 17 again and gets the chance to relive his last year of high school – and change the course of his fate. In the end, he realises that the life he had – the one full of mistakes and missed opportunities – is the one he really wanted anyway. He just didn’t appreciate it at the time.
17 Again forced me to re-visit my high school days. It made me think of the many wonderful people I grew up with. We used to dream big. Really big. So what about you? Did you dream big? Did you reach those dreams? Are you on the way to achieving them? Or did you forget about them altogether?
When discussing this topic with people from here, there and everywhere, the common answer was that they’d ended up in a place far different from where they ever expected. Take Campbell, from Melbourne, as an example. ” I make my living from writing about wine (I’m releasing the Big Red Wine Book next month) but I always find it bizarre that I grew up in the lower-socio-economic Western suburbs of Melbourne, in a family that had no interest in wine and here I am writing (to some extent) for moneyed folks who’ve often grown up with wine all around them. If you’d asked me when I finished high school whether wine would be the focus of my future, I would have been horrified…as I laughed.”
For me, 25 is fast approaching and, for some reason, 25 is an age that makes you sit back and take stock of your life. Am I where I thought I’d be? Yes and no. I always had an idea of where I wanted to be going, I just never planned the route. Some of my aspirations are done and dusted; some of them seem miles away. I’m happy, with my choices, with my achievements, with my life. If you had of told me in high school that I would have been editor of a magazine at 22, I would have believed you. If you had of told me that I would be writing, as a career, I would have believed you. There are some things I always knew I was going to do.
I decided to be a writer when I was 6 years old. I still have the journal I wrote that in. The same journal features a blank page with a single entry “If I was in a running race and someone beat me, I’d bash them up.” To be clear, I never did “bash” anyone, but I never lost a race either. The entries in that diary show so much about my character it’s frightening, because the very core and very basic elements of me have not changed. I hate losing. Whether it’s in a running race, or at a trivia night. And it got me to thinking that so much of who we are is really about the basics; who we’ve been, where we’ve come from, what we’re born like. I believe those factors, ingrained personality traits and character features, have the ability to steer us or veer us further along in life.
Nikki, from Sydney and owner of www.beloved-boutique.com says, “Leaving school I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do. I guess “fate” or something like it took a hold, and my career moved in a different direction. It’s only really once I found my feet grounded after a taste of marketing/business that I became inspired and motivated to do more and move forward with it. I set goals now – things I want to do and places I want to be, but comparing now to back then – it’s a bit of both. I feel in some ways, I am better than I wanted to be – and other areas I am lacking.”
When I think back through my own personal story, there is nothing unexpected about me working in magazines, or having the unbelievable optimism that is needed for a budding entrepreneur. I’ve always been terribly optimistic and confident. I’ve always questioned everything. When I was in Grade 5 I created my own magazine using our ancient typewriter and sold it in the schoolyard. When I was in high school I bought Smash Hits and a myriad of foreign magazines, carefully tore out the pin ups and pictures and then individually sold them, for a much higher fee, to my classmates. For a long time, I dreamed of owning my own book/magazine/music store. I also dreamed of being a stylist. When I look back and realise that I’m living a fairly close version of the life I always wanted, I feel truly lucky. But there is so much more I want. So many things that have nothing to do with a career. So much more I am not at all close to even sniffing.
Think though, about this; if we got everything we ever wanted, would we be truly happy? If we got everything we ever wanted, what would be left to strive for? Remember when Jennifer Garner’s character in Suddenly 30 realises she obtained everything she ever wanted – the sports star boyfriend, the editor’s title at her favourite magazine, the swanky apartment…remember her being awfully disappointed, with her choices, and herself?
I graduated from high school in 2001, and so much has changed since then, it’s mind blowing. So much has been packed into the past eight years. So many memories and experiences. But when I think about it, everything and nothing have changed. Some days, I actually still feel 17. I have to remind myself that I’m not, but I hope to never lose that spirit. I hope I never lose the ability to feel 17. To me cars and careers and titles and stuff matters, but not as much as the one wish I wrote when I was 17 in my high school year book, “I wish to remain blissfully happy, content, unconventional, in love, rebellious and passionate for the rest of my life.” If I, now and in the years ahead of me, can only ever be granted that wish, and if that wish is the only thing that ever makes sense to me, that ever inspires me, then that is more than enough. It’s worth more than anything else and it matters, so much more.
