I think being a stand up comedian has to be one of the hardest jobs in the world. Think about it. We all have different senses of humor. What makes me laugh you may, and probably will, find extremely childish. A good fart will still to this day throw me into fits of giggles. Yet a comedian stands on stage night after night and basically tries to make an entire audience laugh at the same things at the same time. Not only that, but it’s their own material. So what you are essentially saying is that “here is what I find funny, you will find it funny too”. It’s a big call. In what other job do you put yourself up for such instant social criticism?
I am an Aries. For that reason alone I hate to be told what to think and do. Therefore to sit in an audience while someone on stage is saying stuff that I, as an audience member, am supposed to find funny is quite frankly irritating. A lot of people don’t see the difference between that an acting. But see as an actor, it is my job to ignore the audience. To perform the material, that 99% of the time is not my own, and not give a crap what the audience thinks. If people walk out hating it, then rarely do I ever find out. I don’t interact with them. And that suits me just fine. Because let’s face it – the general public are idiots. I happily include myself in that.
Plus, comedy over the years has changed. What we find funny these days is a far cry from what we did years ago. Maybe our tastes have been refined. Maybe we have become more politically correct. I remember in 1997 I was a walk-on extra in ‘Bullpitt’ - a spin off from the hugely successful sitcom Kingswood Country. The remake was done 17 years after the original aired in 1980. Things had changed. I still remember the audience response when Ted Bullpitt stated “I don’t know what these poofs are on about”. In 1980 that was acceptable. And funny. In 1997 it was not. Which is something seemingly lost on TV executives. What made us laugh in the past will not necessarily do so in the present day. It takes the sheer genius of a Bill Cosby, a Mel Brooks, or A Monty Python, just to name a few, to create a timeless classic. I could add more to that list. Hey Hey It’s Saturday strangely enough would not be on it….
The other thing about being on stage as an actor is that generally, even with all the stage lights on, you still have an idea where the audience is. You can see people in the front row. You can see the glint off glasses. If it’s a small theater you can see most of them. And then you ignore them. You wander around on stage in pools of light trying to make them believe that you are someone else. However, I once had the opportunity to introduce my brother on stage who is indeed a Comedian. I walked out and aimed for the microphone. When I got in front of it I looked out to see the audience smiling welcomingly and appreciative and saw…nothing. I don’t think I realized how bright a spotlight is. You cannot see a damn thing. I had no idea if I was looking at the audience or not. Time and space instantly froze. I had no concept of my surroundings and I figured I would just look straight ahead about a meter below the light and hope for the best. I may well have been addressing the men’s room doo….I had no idea. You basically just say your piece and wait for an audible cue from the audience that they indeed exist and liked what you just said.
From that moment on I knew I was not cut out to be a comedian. Ignoring the fact that you also need to be able to write some hilarious jokes. Even if I had been able to get used to the glaring spotlight, I feel my lack of decent joke writing ability may have hindered my career. Although that has not stopped many. There are people out there who are generally very funny people. But that doesn’t mean they should be on stage. There are those that are funny in their own circle of friends – you know the ones “Oh my mate’s reckon I’m hilarious and told me I should be a comedian”. Oh dear. Sadly ‘Jono’, ‘Davo’ and ‘Stevo’ do not represent the entire general population of comedy going patrons, who unless drunk on Rum and Cokes, will not find your lighting a fart on fire as funny as you think they should.
To add to my hesitation of doing comedy in a public forum, in what other job is it acceptable for you to be heckled? Not that it is really acceptable at a comedy venue either, but it does happen on a regular basis. Especially if you are bad. Look what happened with Michael Richards. Years of being on a sitcom with an audience trained to laugh at every line obviously made him criticism ‘soft’. So he went the racist angle. Not wise. It’s the age old threat of what would you do if a comedian came to your work and heckled you? I, for one, just couldn’t go on. I don’t think anyone could. If you were building a house and during the day a crowd started forming, beers in hand, watching your every move and heckling.
“That house sucks! Your butt joints are terrible! Who told you, you could hammer? I built a tree house that looks better than that.”
“Mate, that’s the worst erection I’ve ever seen…but I guess you’re heard that before. Bahahahaha!”
Along those lines, the faux pas of stealing someone else’s joke is, in the comedy world, akin to committing a crime. Once again, you wouldn’t see that on a construction site. “Hey! HEY! What the hell are you doing Deano? I used that same front door on the Stevenson place last week! Not cool man.”
So my friends, being the insecure actor that I am, I shall stay behind the veil of a web blog. If I make you laugh…great. If not …I couldn’t care less. Just be gentle.
But if you do find it funny, let me know.
You might just see me next week on stage…..lighting a fart.
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