Trespassing With: Adhir Kalyan

The jig is up. Or at least it will be when you read the first response of actor, Adhir Kalyan. I am a nepotist, and while I wasn’t going to reveal any personal connection to this incredibly talented man, in the interests of freedom of speech, I now have no choice.

So, Adhir Kalyan. For those of you who count yourselves as TV buffs, and/or among our American readers, then you’ll recognise Kalyan’s name from the critically acclaimed Aliens in America which, whilst short-lived, showed America just what this South African actor is capable of. Kalyan played Raja Musharaff, a Pakistani Muslim exchange student sent to live with a Wisconsin family in Midwest America, alongside the baby faced and eminently likeable Dan Byrd. Aliens in America struck a chord with its viewers and critics in a country that was politically uncertain, and slowly awakening to its own discomfort with needless racial and religious discrimination. Even though it wasn’t renewed for a second season, it was widely touted as one of the funniest, most cleverly written shows of the year, and Adhir Kalyan hasn’t looked back.

The acting world needs more people like Adhir Kalyan, representing our vast and talented generation. And it seems Hollywood may have cottoned on to this as well (they’re a little slow on the uptake sometimes). Now, the Durban born and raised twenty-five year old has four feature films lined up for release this year – Paul Blart; Mall Cop with Kevin James; Fired Up with Molly Sims and Sarah Roemer; Youth in Revolt with Michael Cera and Justin Long; and High School with Adrian Brody and Michael Vartan – as well as recurring roles in Rules of Engagement with David Spade and the hugely successful, Nip/Tuck. Next step, a Vanity Fair cover.

Nepotism aside, Adhir Kalyan is one of the most promising young actors working today, hands down. You can either take my word for it (which I suggest you do) YouTube his hilarious and heart warming episodes of Aliens in America, watch his Australian accent impression, or simply read on (which I also suggest you do).

Trespassing With … Adhir Kalyan

1. Name: Adhir Kalyan
2. Occupation: Actor
3. Reason I am being trespassed: One of my best friends runs this magazine. Olivia Hambrett. Nepotist.
4. Fave book: three pieces of literature spring to mind, purely as a result of the effect they’ve had on me. I remember Of Mice and Men by the great John Steinbeck today as vividly as the day I read it. Gandhi’s teachings have been seminal in my life, and thus his autobiography, The Story Of My Experiments With Truth was an important read. Finally, Marlon Brando, by Patricia Bosworth, was the first actor biography I’d read, which truly fascinated me. She painted, ever so succinctly, a remarkable picture of a remarkable actor.
5. Fave movie: On The Waterfront, 1954, Marlon Brando dir: E. Kazan
6. Fave shopping spot: I’m a rather picky shopper, always choosing to buy a select few items that suit my tastes. Perhaps some might say that my specific tastes only lend themselves to my purchasing a select few items. However, if I did have to choose a favourite shopping spot, it would be Covent Garden, London – from flea markets, to boutiques, suit-makers to retro-fashion stores, great book stores to equally great DVD-stores selling European Cinema, it offered, and still does offer I imagine, infinite variety.
7. My best memory: I was telling my parents a story after dinner. I was 6, dressed in my pyjamas, standing in front of them in our living room. I was describing the emotional state of a character, and I said ‘he was so fucking angry.’ I froze immediately, my mum calmly asked me what I’d said. I replied, ‘He was so angry?’ She then asked what word I’d used before angry. I said, ‘I think I said…wait, did I say fucking?’ I didn’t even wait for their response. I dropped my head, turned around, and went to my room. It was fairly clear story-time was over. That’s what Jeffrey said anyway. He was my imaginary friend.
8. When I was little I wanted to: embark on a successful, award-winning acting career. At the age of 32, once I was firmly established, it was my hope that I would take a hiatus, and pitch for The New York Yankees for 2 seasons, before returning to aforementioned career, until the age of 55, when I would retire from the world of entertainment, and become the Secretary-General of the United Nations.
9. Fave TV Shows: Fawlty Towers, Arrested Development
10. Can’t live without: Showers. Twice a day.
11. If I could live anywhere in the world, I would choose: London.
12. Last film I watched was: The Fall. An incredibly beautiful piece.
13. First album I ever bought: Nirvana: Unplugged in New York. I joined this CD Network, and it was the first of 3 albums I ordered, for 19.00 South African Rand to listen to on the CD player my grandfather had brought me from India. First album I was ever given was The Lion King Soundtrack. I wish I could sing it for you. I still know all the words, to all the songs. Except Be Prepared. Because I didn’t care for Scar when I was younger. I mean he killed Mustafa.
14. Song I can’t get out of my head: Sex on Fire by Kings of Leon. I may or may not have heard it on an episode of Gossip Girl.
15. I wish I wrote/sang/directed: The High School Musical trilogy. YouTube: Zac Efron – Bet On It. Gold.
16. When I grow up I want to be: a football and cricket commentator, dealing exclusively with Champion’s League Nights and One Day Internationals, respectively.
17. My goals for the next two years: I’ve enjoyed a very happy and personally successful start to my career in the United States. This year I’m looking forward to the airing of my work on the TV shows Nip/Tuck, and Rules of Engagement, and the premiering of the four feature films I worked on last year. I hope to continue to carve out an interesting and varied body of work, playing a wide array of characters, and go some way to establishing myself as an actor here in Los Angeles. Engaging in more community service and humanitarian work has also become more of a priority of mine.
18. Five years – Ten years: When I was 18, I had an entire plan of what I wanted to achieve within 5, 10, 15 years. And I genuinely believed that what I had envisioned for myself was the best possible scenario, the best possible set of events and experiences at those milestones. However, in the most significant ways, my life has been richer, fuller, the challenges greater, and more character-building, the experiences more diverse, meaningful, profound than the plan I’d laid out for myself. If one concentrates too much, and becomes too fixed on hitting certain milestones, attaining specific goals, I believe we may close ourselves off to something greater, and more substantial. So I’d prefer to live out the next five to 10 years, and report back to you
19. The thing that bugs me about life is: Bloggers – nobody really reads, or cares about what you have to say. Not when you’re commenting about today’s episode of Tyra. Bad customer service – there’s only so much of somebody going out of their way to be impolite and rude, and deliberately unhelpful, before somebody, usually me, has to say, ‘Let’s remember the dynamic here – I’m paying you, for a service, and I expect that service to be done. Do we have a problem?’ And waiters who ask you what you’d like to order, don’t write it down, and then come back 5 minutes later and ask what you’ve ordered – Outrageous. Is there no point on that walk of shame back to the table where they realize the error of their ways, do they reflect on their mistake, and think it might be fitting to apologize, or better yet, consider the possibility of actually writing down the order in the future? Maybe that’s too much to ask. And stand-up comics, who aren’t funny – you know, there used to be a time in the mid-90’s where there were certain people who were funny. Only certain people. The funny guy. Or the funny girl. Some people brought the booze to the party. They brought the humour, the entertainment. Then at some point, at the turn of the century, everybody got funny. Or so they thought. Everyone thought they were a comedian. And what was even more horrifying, was that everybody who thought themselves comedians, laughed at everybody else who thought themselves comedians, and so was born a generation of comedic mediocrity. Outrageous. And the result? Bad stand-up comics who have been encouraged to the point of such delusion they can genuinely draw parallels between themselves and Richard Pryor.
20. But the thing that makes it all worthwhile is: Having the choice not to read blogs, good customer service, not tipping said waiter, and watching Chris Rock HBO specials on DVD.
21. Top three travel essentials are: 1) Passport (seemingly an obvious answer, but with the amount of red-tape I’ve encountered in my life, I really feel compelled to put this down), 2) A locally-written travel book on your destination of choice, failing which, a trashy, yet steamy romantic novel from the airport newsstand, and 3) Method of recording the trip – journal or camera. You do not need a toothbrush. You can use the toothbrush they give to you on the plane to get by. The rest you can buy while you’re there, and let’s be honest, there’s a pretty good chance your luggage is going to be lost, or at the very least be rummaged through.
22. The first thing I do each morning is: Curse loudly, because in all likelihood it’s a fucking leaf-blower or lawn-mower tending to the grounds of the apartment complex I live in at 7.45 in the morning, when my alarm has been set to wake me up at 11.45. Alternatively, I take a sip of water from the bottle that’s positioned on the floor next to my bed.
23. I unwind by: Going to the baseball batting cages up the road from my house, ordering food on the way home, showering, eating my dinner, while drinking a beer, watch a movie, and end off the night playing a little Fifa. I suppose that’s more of a breakdown of a night, isn’t it? More like a breakdown of every night. Well, look, I think we can safely say at the end of all of this, I take my time to unwind.
24. The last thing I do at night: Give thanks for the day that has been.
25. I wish I could: exercise more patience.
26. The celeb I am crushing on, but am embarrassed to admit is: I really don’t feel like my character would say this line, because he’s not the type to get embarrassed, so I’m going to scratch it because we could use this opportunity to further the story. Thus my answer for 26, is simply an alternate to 27. Li Gong.
27. The celeb I am crushing loud and proud on is: Penelope Cruz.
28. My most frugal desire is: an evening at home watching an old classic picture.
29. On Sundays I like to: Wake up at 4.30 in the morning, and watch Manchester United play in the Barclays Premier League. If United aren’t bringing me any joy, I take my rugby ball and go to a local high school, and place-kick on their American Football Field.
30. I got my big break when: Early in 2002, I was offered 1 of 30 places from 1200 actors who auditioned, to attend the prestigious Central School of Speech and Drama in London, England. Unfortunately, finances did not permit me to take up my place, and I returned to South Africa, where I continued my self-study of my craft. I eventually moved to London in 2005, and spent my first year working as a runner at a post-production film company, learning about editing, sound design, colouring the film. But I was also earning minimum wage, and couldn’t get arrested, let alone an audition. 2006 started off well with 2 great guest spots on the British BAFTA-award winning shows Spooks, and Holby City.  Then things dried up, and I was growing frustrated. Then in May of that year, my agent called and sent over a script for a TV Pilot called Aliens in America. And it blew me away. I auditioned for the piece twice, and I got my big break when I was offered the role of Raja Musharaff. The show went on to be picked up, became one of the critical darlings of the American television season in 2007/2008, and changed my life completely.
31. Right now I am craving a Snickers Ice-Cream Bar but normally my fave food is Sushi.
32. Wii Tennis make me buzz but failing songs on Guitar Hero depletes me.
33. The advice I’d give Trespass readers is: Work hard, take risks, make sacrifices, apply yourself. And don’t wear tacky T-shirts, with the even tackier phrases printed on them. You’re all aware of the ones I’m talking about :’I'm A Virgin…But this is an old T-Shirt’ ‘Warning: May Cause Orgasm’ ‘Everyone Loves a Texas Girl’
34. One Reason they should love me is: I like to open doors for girls.
35. Last thing I bought: I found myself at a sporting store in Detroit, called Dick’s sporting goods, looking for a sweater. I emerged a half-hour later, and for some reason, felt in a hazy daze as I was now fully fitted in Livestrong gear – sweater, t-shirt, tracksuit pants, gloves, the bracelet. I’m not quite sure how that happened. Still at a loss about it. I just got sucked into it. Can’t remember the event at all. Lost in Livestrong. Well, I suppose it’s for a worthy cause. By the way, did you know some medical facilities don’t allow their patients to wear the Livestrong bands, because it’s sometimes confused with the yellow medical band ‘Do Not Resuscitate?’ Just thought I’d ask.
36. Ideal Invention: A device that would show me who I was in previous lives. I know some people call that device a psychic, but I want a live-action feed.
37. One word to describe me is: I much prefer that my actions describe me.
38. The mark I want to leave on this world: A good man, with a good heart, who did all the good he could.
39. I am on to it by: Looking for a Helen Hunt type who will make me want to be a better man, un-blackening my heart through self-punishment, and trying to carry out a random act of kindness everyday. Which is sometimes hindered by (19).